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Mon, Mar. 18th, 2019, 11:23 am
GYM CLASS!!!!!

OH man, it feels so good to be back!!!!!!!!

I had my gym membership on freeze since Dec 25th...
and it got unfrozen by feb 25.
in the beginning i was hesitant about returning back...
questioning myself, how much can i handle??
took it VERY light at first...
just taking mere yoga class...

LAST week tho, i felt pumped...
and ended up prolly overdosing on gym class...
particularly that wednesday morning...
took cardio, bodypump, stayed for this pilates class...
i felt like i was on a high afterwards thinking...
i'd take evening wednesday class too...
BUT i ended up feeling SO DEVASTATED...
for a couple of days it felt hard to walk...
all my muscles feeling so sore..

its a new week of workout today...
took a new release of bodypump today this morning..
OH MAN, LOVE the chest track and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new shoulder track...
such light weight with the shoulders, but your like OMG still...
two favorites of mine..

DAMN, wish i had wednesdays off from work regularly...
OH WELL... looking forward to eventually taking grit strength...

I have to remind myself, i have to take it easy still...
i mean, i havent run my first mile yet...
but still...
gym class feels like a DRUG..
it feels SO ADDICTINg and so good at the same time...

Tue, Dec. 4th, 2018, 04:44 pm
my surgery date...

December friday the 28th

So happy I was able
to get it scheduled
before the new year...
Otherwise I would have had
to meet a whole new deductible
for 2019...

Thu, Nov. 29th, 2018, 04:54 pm
ankle update...

been keeping quiet on this...
cuz i guess a part of me wants to be in denial...
but apparently, my right ankle is going to need surgery.
I mean, can I continue to run with this ailment?
SUre, but I'd prolly end up making the
issue worse...
as my FIRST MRI from a year ago never detected this...
but my CURRENT one did..

apparantly, I have developed a HOLE on my talus bone.
in medical scientific terms...
i've developed osteochondral lesion
I am beside myself with this news...
I had been running up to 6 miles...
and while I felt an improvement and good about it...
i know I felt there was something off too...
which is why I wanted to double check...
and with the issue with my left ankle...
I had wanted to check that too...

NOTHINg serious with my left ankle thank god...
just a mild strain...
which I've taken up physical therapy...
but my RIgHT ankle...
the news has felt like a big let down to me.
The concern is that overtime the hole can get bigger and deeper...
and as it is now... there had been a slight strain when running...
which this particular lesion has been causing it...

while this is a non life threatening situation...
i am sorta in shock with this news...

Thu, Nov. 22nd, 2018, 05:44 pm
My thanksgiving 23andMe result...

Yep, I got it today.
SUPER FAST. only an 11 day wait...

Mon, Nov. 19th, 2018, 10:11 pm
#KADstrong...

That has become
my new favorite hashtag...

That is all..

Sat, Nov. 17th, 2018, 06:22 pm
New baby on the block...

Right so, last wednesday there was a substitute gym instructor.
WHY?? BEcause the regular instructor...
apparently his wife had a baby....
and my feelings ended up being, OMG..

HOnestly, I don't know the private lives
of what goes on with gym instructors...
whatever they share in gym class
is like the basics that I really know...
so like the baby news ended up
feeling like a shock to me...

wonder if its a boy or a girl??

I can just picture it...
the baby growing up...
becoming a toddler
and once they learn how to walk....
their gonna be taught
how to do pushups, punch, kick,
lift weights and what not
at an early age, LOL...

i know that the gym instructor is also a school teacher
but thats like NO Fun.

I'm like thinking, is the gym instructor going to even have time to lead a gym class on top of his full time job and on top of being a parent now... i have no idea. I'm crossing fingers that won't be the case cuz that would truly feel like a bummer and a half...

Sat, Nov. 17th, 2018, 06:09 pm
flat feet...

Well... now im feeling depressed.
Okay, thats a bit of extreme
Non the less, ive grown disenchanted..
And just have to muscle thru this phase.

Ive been having some ankle issues lately.
Particularly with my left ankle.
I never fell or twisted it
but i had noticed
i started to feel discomfort
in the inside of my ankle.
At first I brushed it off...
But then it came to a point
It feeling worrisome
So I decided to see my podiatrist.

Apparently I have a slight sprain on my deltoid ankle ligament. *sigh*. Like i NEVER fell or twisted my ankle in the first place tho. But apparently i have over pronated feet, which has affected my ankle soreness I've been feeling. I have my left foot in a soft cast at the moment in order to stabilize my ankle more... and when all is said and done... I am unable to run at the moment, at least for another 2 weeks.

I am reminded that even elite athletes
they go thru injuries...
and I am reminded..
i have to take care of myself first...
in order to not make things worse...

While I can look into shoes
that will give me better arch support.
I am hoping that I will be capable
of strengthening the muscles needed
in order for my feet not to go flat.

in substitute for running...
I'm taking spin class these days...

Mon, Nov. 12th, 2018, 05:53 pm
spit. sealed. sent...

Mailed off my 23andMe dna kit today...
4:30 this morning before heading to work.
Unlike a lot of ppl who put it off..
I have always done mine right away..

my final dna kit...

And oh, I also did a 6 mile run today.

Sun, Nov. 11th, 2018, 06:57 pm
My return home today...

Right so, when i returned home from work today...
OF COURse, the first thing i do is check my dna sites..
then I quickly checked up on my groups on fb...
and WHOA... there i saw myself...
a video depicting me as a child in korea...
i mean, there were OTHER videos of other
Korean Adoptees, but it was a video of me they posted...
it shocked and excited me.
Like i had felt it was a small slice of fame...
like i got to be in the limelight...
BUT then i got to actually watching the video...
and i then got choked up...
got teary eyed, the video making me cry a little..

OF COurse, this all happened when i had returned home from work. and with the time change and all... I can no longer dilly dally, waste my time online... it gets too dark too early. need to get in my run in before it gets dark... returned home after doing a 5 mile run. I wanted to do 6, but oh well.. I at least got out...

Anyways, I feel more situated now tho. I feel I'm able to gather my thoughts better without feeling like I'm in a rush. And well, I think this is the first time in my life where the thoughts of one day reconnecting with my korean family, is actually tangible. Its not some type of unsolvable mystery... i mean, the thought has been always been buried way back in my mind as like this IMPOSSIBLE mission. So, i'm like fuck... lemme forget about it all, and just lemme live my freaking life.

But honestly, DNA opened a whole new world and new set of possibilities for me. Just recently someone posted they found a second cousin. There is a KAD in the united states who is flying to Europe to meet a sibling she matched with thru DNA. SO yeah, the whole thing is like FREAK OUt, blowing my mind. When i first got introduced to the whole DNA thing... it got me highly distracted at first. But now, I found some equilibrium... balance. Honestly, this journal has helped a lot i think... when it comes to getting back in track. But ANYWAYS, i have like... ZERO information on my biological parents. ZERO. That means... TWO THINGS. ONE: I solely rely on DNA to one day to be able to reconnect. I swear to god... I'm waiting on that day... of getting that 200cM match.... cuz within a heartbeat... I'd totally become a Kamra member/a lifetime member... but i am just patiently waiting on that day tho. I mean, I realize there are NO guarantees, but still, the idea, paying the amount of membership still sounds worth it to me... they have been successful reuniting families thru DNA... and I wanna be one of those ppl...

SECONDLY, this is the internet... the internet is like another avenue of getting discovered. So virtual libraries like these... is like, seen as very precious... There was a Korean father who discovered his daughter thru the KAS sight... so, one just never really knows... it's possible...

Sun, Nov. 11th, 2018, 02:38 pm
325Kamra Korean Adoptee Virtual Library: Kim Sung Ja

This is me in the video.
There are more Korean adoptees
shown on their channel who are searching for their birth family.
and I'm feeling so grateful for this compilation...
I think its a great project they have undertaken....
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNR-MjZDWR70ylROW6-wSUg

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