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Wed, Oct. 17th, 2018, 07:56 pm
DNA match update...

Right so, this new DNA match I got in touch with...
she lives in Korea...

tried looking her up on facebook...
looking her up by her American name and then Korean name...
nothing tho... not complaining actually...
i'm just posting this observation...
not interested in becoming so called
facebook friends, hope it never happens actually...
I guess thats how I am...
having to connect in that way, just ends up feeling impersonal...
I'd just rather continue to have a 1 on 1 email correspondence...
or chat personally...
even amongst online social circles...
sometimes i still feel i get a sense of cliques forming...
I already feel like an outsider in real life..
I dont need to have to experience it online...
Like I'm not a part of the so called "IN" group that exists...
which is what i ended up eventually feeling...

But anyways, i DID get to google her...
and she did an interview
and i had listened to her podcast she did for adapted.
So, I feel i got to know a little bit about her personality that way...
yeah, she's open to swearing.
I smiled when she was expressing her feelings...
saying a fuck you, fuck you, fuck you statement...
in the podcast...

She mentioned to me about attending IKAA next summer.
So, I can tell, while she is in some way associated with other adoptees...
and has that knowledge of what goes on within the Korean adoptee community...
But just by trying to look her up in certain groups..
I have a sense that she's not associated with them socially online...
which is what I think i prefer actually..
at any rate, i just responded to her
that I've already attended IKAA in the past...
and that socially speaking, I do not do well in large crowds...
but that the panel discussions and topics shared were insightful
and I left it at that..

She has only done MyHeritage...
so, I had to simply share my knowledge with her...
transfer her data to FTDNA, gedmatch, gedmatch genesis...

at any rate, since she lives in Korea...
I'm thinking if i ever make a trip there...
I feel I have a new connection...
in whom i can connect with there...

but my other 37cM match cousin...
suggested about planning a trip to Korea too...
so, I guess that's another connection...

Wed, Oct. 17th, 2018, 07:21 pm
and it hurts so good...

Usually i work wednesdays...
but I was off today and went to the gym this morning...
you see, I TOTALLy forgot about Saturday...
I totally wanted to go to that event
but FUCK, I got DISTRACTED...
HATE that.
THAT distraction thing ended up getting to me...

thank you livejournal for always being here for me tho...

ANYWAYS, i feel like it had been a LONG time since i took grit cardio class. and HOLY FUCK, that new release was the BOMB!!!! But don't I always fucking say that... every time a new release comes out. BUT OMG.... it felt like a great feeling to be there again - feeling the atmosphere and the mood. My god, the sweat just came pouring out of me. I just don't remember sweating so hard previously. Just a cool routine all together. I can tell my ankle has healed tremendously just because doing jumping lunges no longer gives me pain... but it just felt normal. The thing about this routine is that... while u think that its over, but NOOOOOooooooo... u got 50 additional burpees to do in 2 minutes at that end. like WTF man, that was truly the kicker and made my head spin and make me go, ARe YOU SERIOUS?!

Had debated on going to grit strength class this evening, but kinda lost steam thru out the day. feels easier for me to attend evening classes when I have work that day actually. Sounds weird, I know... but my muscles feel already sore from this mornings bodypump class. MAn, that tricep track, that was a killer move...

Wed, Oct. 17th, 2018, 07:01 pm
Saved myself 200 dollars....

got to fixing my kitchen sink...
what an UGLY MESS..
DISGUSTING actually when it came to
all the GUNK that came out...

Cleared everything away underneath my cabinet.
Put a pan underneath my drain.
Had put WD40 a couple of days ago
around the screw/nut or whatever you want to call it
thats located on the bottom of the pipe...
Eventually got that unscrewed...
water drained out and onto the pan...
a long with a lot of other gunk...
put a coat hanger thru the pipe...
trying to scrape out as much gunk as possible...

and well, now I have a working drain :)
just a little bit of elbow grease...
and I saved myself 200 dollars..

Wed, Oct. 17th, 2018, 07:34 am
OMG, and her Korean last name is Lee...

Checked MyHeritage message first thing this morning...
and her last name is LEE too...

I know kim and lee are like really popular korean last names...
and I know these DNA matches are kinda too distant still...
for me to make a definitive answer...
but for some reason, I cant help it to think...
my last name could be a Lee too...
and not actually a kim..

Tue, Oct. 16th, 2018, 08:16 pm
After work news..

Yeah well, OF COURSE when i got home from work today...
the FIRST thing that i did was check my DNA sites...
particularly MyHeritage...

I ended up reaching out to a 43 cM cousin.
I feel this was like over a week ago..
and today I got an email saying she responded..
Anyways, I am like that with distant matches.
UNLIKE most ppl who dismiss distant ppl...
for some reason, i go out of my way to reach out to them...
and considering her name, I KNEW she most likely
was another Korean adoptee too.
and YEP, i was RIGHT

Had to check out MyHeritage and see what message she had written to me and OF COURSE, I replied, and now this evening i am in suspense what type of info she will end up writing back. At any rate, it is strange to me... cuz at the supposedly 3rd cousin level, we originated quite FAR from each other. SHe is from Incheon, while I am from Daegu... meaning, she is from northern part of south Korea... while i am located more southern. Due to distance, I just wanna know how did we become genetically connected like that...

Had to ask her what her Korean last name might be. Mine is Kim. But thats not a name that was given to me by my actual birth parents. Just a name given to me by an orphanage. Due to my DNA matches, sometimes my mind thinks that maybe my last name could actually be a Lee... but i dunno. I am getting WAY too ahead of myself here.

What's interesting to me about this Incheon match, is that she is currently living in Korea. So, of course I ended up asking her many questions regarding that. I guess I am just waiting for a response from her. It's about 9am Korea time. Maybe she has a busy morning when it comes to getting ready for work... i dunno. most likely I'll hear back from her noon time Korea time.

This 47 cM match is connected with my 37 cM match cousin. but the two of them are more distant at 19 cM. Not sure what that particularly means. I'm just putting it out there for now tho.

In other news...
I actually went on a 4 mile run after work today.
Yep, 54 degree weather. Cool and crisp.
Perfect running weather actually...
felt good with that accomplishment actually..

Mon, Oct. 15th, 2018, 08:48 pm
Kitchen Sink...

PLEASE dear god,
let me be able to fix my kitchen sink on my own...

I know I've been putting it off...
but i really want to be able to
fix my kitchen sink on my own now...

i called maintenance to see if they can come and check it out...
NOPE. Their explanation was that the pipes were too old...
and that taking it a part and then putting it back together
would be a difficult job...
and that i would need a professional plumber to do it...

i just know it...
i know it that i can fix this on my own..
instead of having to shell out 200 dollars for someone else do it for me...
What does age have to do with it,
when it comes to taking something a part and putting it back together??
maybe the little screw maybe rusty, but i could put some WD40 on it...
I seriously think that would help...

please, just make this possible for me...
I'm just waiting on the proper tools...
and then I think i will be good to go.

Mon, Oct. 15th, 2018, 08:41 pm
Email from dad..

I've gone thru so many email accounts...
starting off with hotmail, than gmail, than eventually yahoo...

logged into my hotmail account the other day...
an account i no longer use...
havent used in a long time..
and well, when i logged in
i just had a bunch of emails that were just basically JUNK.
just started to delete everything...

but when i got into the 2011 emails...
thats when things started to get a little bit more personal
and i stumbled upon an email written from my dad.

the email was nothing special..
it was just him stating that he will be
visiting adirondacks for a few days...
he would do that, inform us when he would go away...

Anyways, the email was written august 14, 2011.
He ended up dying a little less than a year by the time he had written that email..

i guess every now and then...
i can get into a funk over him...

Mon, Oct. 15th, 2018, 08:13 pm
DISTRACTED!!!!!!!

So, I kinda got a little distracted and I dont like it...
i dont like it one bit...
because I think other things in my life
have suffered due to my distraction...
i feel like i need to step back
and just simply step away for the time being
as if all this never happened in the first place...

my last entry I wrote was my wrist...
yeah, that SUCKEd at that time...
time has passed...
and i would say it's 99.9% healed..

Anyways, getting back to my distraction...
it started several months ago...
I am just living my life so to speak...
and then BAM, i discover this thing called DNA testing...

as someone who is adopted, has no records of biological family members. NO NAMES, NADA, ZILCH, ZERO.. i ended up discovering that DNA testing is a way that a lot of other adoptees have been able to discover close immediate biological family members - whether sisters, brothers, 1st cousins... and even reuniting with birth parents... and well, this is what has become my distraction these days... and what i need to step away from and not have it as my focus. PLUS, i hate getting sucked into forum message boards and the likes... need to detach myself from it all. Been blocked by ppl... got kicked out of a group cuz i wouldnt add the admin as a "friend"... like geeze. i simply was minding my own business, not interested in the whole "friends" aspect... I was just simply interested in following groups and pages - and now i'm like seen as MISS NEgative. being overly sensitive, taking this too personally. dont like it. negative vibe i feel. need to step away. wish i just kept on minding my own business...

I just simply want to get back to my life BEFORE
all this happened to me.

Closest DNA match I've connected to was supposedly a 3rd cousin - a 3rd cousin once removed. She made me cry.... I mean, i know its like a distant match still... but she was the one that reached out to me first and well... she's like the first somewhat significant biological individual in whom I am currently having communications with. Its FREAky feeling to me.

BUT, I want to get back to my life...
its all become a distraction and too much of a focus.
NEED to step back...
I want to run more often
work out more often,
but FUCK, i have become distracted...

need to UN-distract myself...
step away...
stop getting involved in fb discussions...
maybe check my dna sites once a month.
but not every day....
and not get all curious and wrapped up
in wanting to contact even distant dna matches...
realizing it won't amount to much...
but just trying to get little pieces of information...
due to being curious about their story still anyways...
the whole thing, it just unexpectedly pulled me into
a whole different world i didnt know that existed before ..
and i need to just start crawling and push my way out, somehow...

hoping this entry will help me do that...
just writing it out, expressing myself...
just being able to work my way thru it...
try and refocus on something else...

Sat, Jun. 9th, 2018, 04:54 pm
Wrist update...

Well, apparently i have missed like, a little over a month of gym class i feel due to my wrist. I've tried even taking easy classes... like yoga, and doing like the downward facing dog would hurt my wrist.

FINALLy, i ended up seeing a dr about it.
he gave me 2 different braces to wear - one at night and during the day AND, he gave me anti inflammatory prescription medication. I won't lie, the medication works like magic. OMG, i felt so much pain in my wrist during certain movements and i hardly feel the pain anymore.

when doing bicep exercises i couldnt supinate my wrist without feeling pain, so i would use the ez bar instead.... to keep my wrist in neutral. but with this medication the dr prescribed me.. i can feel the night and day difference... BUT i feel cautious tho still. I mean, just because the meds has eased my sense of discomfort.. does that mean, is it still safe to return back to my normal routine? I am playing it safe... i learned the HArd way with my ankle. I don't want to over due it with my wrist and cause any more unnecessary damage. so yeah, i think i'll prolly hold off with gym class another couple of weeks. Maybe try the third week. not sure. I just know that i have a follow up with the dr.. the 4th week.

and all i know is that i would feel better knowing i could feel this pain free when i stop taking the medication...

Sat, May. 26th, 2018, 09:28 am
Injuries SUck...

sprained my wrist in a really bad way a few weeks ago. 3 weeks later, it aint feeling good still. i feel i ended up causing cartilage damage to my wrist... the ulnar side. I cant supinate without feeling pain. I cant do a regular push up without feeling pain. I dont know whats worse, ankle sprain or wrist... this wrist injury has caused me to miss a lot of gym class the last few weeks...

i was like at this point where I've started to run regularly and then BAM, i took a spill and injured my wrist with the fall.

I listen to the radio often.
I take on a new perspective during the sports section.
they always talk about whatever athlete suffering from some type of injury. hamstring, shoulder, or whatever type of strain. I guess no matter how active and strong u maybe.. your just not immune when avoiding injury.. it even happens to professional athletes.

just hoping my wrist situation heals soon.
plan on seeing a dr for it...

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